Today I received what appears to be a genuine e-mail but simply addressed and delivered to the wrong person. I was confused and decided to reply in an equally confusing way. I reproduce it here for your enjoyment.

On Sun, Sep 7, 2008 at 6:01 PM, Victoria Carson  wrote:

Word on the street is that you are not resaponding to emails from
grandparents. I know you are a very busy guy, but you have to at least
acknowledge receipt and promise proper email when time allows…OR…are
you not getting them? You know how PJ is sensitive I told him he
could “flag” them important, but i GUESS THEY ARENT REALLY lol
WE LOVE YOU! and know you will make this a priority cuz they love you
and you love them SO you know you need to be mindful of them
xoxo

Victoria Carson
Third Grade
[deleted] Elementary School

I replied with the following e-mail:

Victoria,

It has been a long time since I saw you last. As I recall, it was the night I decided that I really didn’t love you and I slipped out of your bed and out of your life. I suppose I can tell you now that I moved to Utah-which was the last place I thought you would go looking for me since your estranged husband was living there. In fact, I moved into the same apartment complex as he did knowing it was the last place on earth that you would go.

It was strange at first seeing Roger and knowing that it was our secret love that separated you two, but in time we became friends although I never revealed our relationship to him.

I still remember the smell of your hair that night I left, and the faint odor of cherry blossoms from the tree outside your window. I stood at the window for a long time that night looking at the moon, then looking at you asleep, then looking at the moon trying to decide what to do. At the time I decided that I needed to leave you and that it would be the best thing for both of us. Sneak out during the night—have a clean break—that’s what I thought.

I can tell you now that I never did find happiness nor love after leaving you and every day regret grew in my heart as well as my love for you and the realization that I had made the biggest mistake of my life. I’m sure now, after all these years, that you have found happiness and I console myself in that hope. In my heart, however, there will never be anyone but you.

Although I yearn to hear news from you and to speak with you again I’m afraid the my heart would not survive if I knew the truth of how your life has turned out. 

Because of this, and the details I have revealed about my location, I ask you to not contact me again. I am moving on with my life, both emotionally and physically. I just loaded up my car and I’m going on the road again to somewhere you won’t find me. This time I’m letting random chance guide my way so I don’t have to worry that you will reason out where I have gone—you know me better than I know myself. 

And if you talk to Roger, tell him that I’ve left $10 in an envelope under the rug just inside his apartment. We went out to a movie a couple of days ago and I had to bum some money off him. I hate leaving people behind when I owe them something.

I love you, Victoria, as I always have. I’m sorry for leaving—it destroyed my life but I hope not yours. I’m too ashamed of what I did to try and heal the pain and find you again. Over the years the constant heartache has become a bitter-sweet companion—one I’ve become so accustom to that I can’t imagine living without it.

I love you with all my heart! Please don’t look for me!

I wonder if she will reply. (Can you tell I don’t have enough to do today?)